Are you struggling with what you believed was the heartache of ‘Twin Flame love’ only to find out it’s really a game of manipulation, gaslighting, and narcissism?

If you thought your twin flame was the one, only to be hit with emotional manipulation, abuse and gaslighting, know that you’re not alone. If you are tired of the mind games, chaos and confusion, and there are numerous red flags, you might be dealing with a narcissist. 

Sometimes people become confused between the intense feelings of a twin flame relationship and narcissism. While a twin flame connection can be intense and passionate, it is not the same as a narcissistic relationship. In a twin flame relationship, both partners are on equal footing and have mutual respect and understanding for each other, in contrast a relationship with a narcissist will be one-sided and traumatic, involving a variety of unhealthy behaviors and patterns.

In a twin flame relationship, both partners are loving, honest and supportive and there is a desire to grow and evolve together. It is a spiritual connection between two people who share a deep sense of compatibility and understanding. These relationships can be incredibly intense and transformative, but can be challenging, therefore they require a high level of emotional maturity and self-awareness to work.

On the other hand, narcissistic relationships are toxic and damaging and characterized by a pattern of self-centered, manipulative behavior on the part of one person.

Narcissists tend to be emotionally abusive, lack empathy, be controlling, and manipulate others for their own benefit.

Narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy for others, and a need for constant admiration and attention. 

Here are some signs that a relationship may be affected by narcissism:

1. One partner is always the center of attention: In a healthy twin flame relationship, both partners are equally invested in each other’s growth and well-being. However, in a relationship with a narcissistic partner, one person may always demand attention and admiration, leaving the other partner feeling rejected, neglected or unimportant. They may get upset if they don’t receive enough attention or if their partner’s attention is directed elsewhere.
2. Constant Need for Validation: Constantly seeking validation from their partner and expect them to meet their every need without reciprocating the same level of care and attention.
3. Lack of empathy: Struggles to empathize with their partner’s feelings or perspectives, often dismissing them as unimportant or irrational.
4. Control and manipulation: May use control and manipulation tactics to maintain power and dominance in the relationship, which can lead to the other person feeling powerless and trapped. May struggle with giving up control and allowing their partner to make decisions. This can lead to a sense of oppression and feeling trapped in the relationship.
5. Jealousy; Excessively jealous or possessive, and may try to control their partner’s interactions with others.
6. Intense mood swings: May exhibit extreme emotional volatility, swinging from idealization and affection to rage or disdain with little provocation. This can create a stressful and unpredictable environment.
7. Inability to handle criticism: May struggle to handle criticism, often reacting defensively or aggressively.
8. Entitlement; May exhibit a sense of entitlement and believe they are always right, leading to frequent arguments and power struggles.
9. Grandiose Self-Image: Inflated sense of self-importance, believing they are superior to others and deserving of special treatment and attention.
10. Emotional volatility: Narcissistic individuals can be prone to emotional outbursts, mood swings, and erratic behavior.
11. Blaming and criticizing: Quick to blame their partner for any problems in the relationship, and may criticize or belittle them for perceived shortcomings.
12. Emotional Distance: Sruggles to connect emotionally with their partner, often shutting down or becoming defensive when confronted with emotional issues.
13. Unreciprocated; The relationship may feel one-sided, with the narcissistic partner only focused on their own needs and desires.
14. Difficulty with compromise: May insist on having things their way, which can lead to conflict and frustration.
15. Gaslighting: May try to gaslight them by denying their own behavior or manipulating the truth.
16. Lack of Accountability: May struggle to take responsibility for their actions or apologize for their mistakes, often deflecting blame onto their partner or others instead.

It’s important to note that some of these behaviors can be present in any type of relationship, and that having one or two of these traits does not necessarily mean that someone is a narcissist.

Sometimes, people engage in power struggles, using tactics like guilt, jealousy, or emotional blackmail to try and gain the upper hand in the relationship. These behaviors can be harmful and ultimately damaging to the relationship, so it’s important to be aware of them.

The partner with narcissistic traits may have a history of unstable or tumultuous relationships.

At the beginning of the relationship, the partner with narcissistic traits may idealize their partner and put them on a pedestal, showering them with attention, affection, and gifts. They may make the other person feel like they are the most important person in the world and that they have found their soulmate, which is the reason there may be confusion as to whether is is a twin flame connection.

However, as the relationship progresses, the partner with narcissistic traits may start to devalue their partner, criticizing them, belittling them, and treating them with disdain. They may become controlling and possessive, and may accuse their partner of not being loyal or trustworthy. This pattern of idealization and devaluation can be very debilitating and hurtful for the partner who is on the receiving end.

Manipulation in a relationship can take many forms, including; making unreasonable demands to control or influence the other, gaslighting, emotional blackmail, guilt-tripping, and even physical manipulation. The manipulative partner may use tactics such as withholding affection or attention, threatening to leave the relationship, or using the idea of a ‘twin flame connection’ as a way to justify their behavior.

However, it may not necessarily be narcissism and just be the case that one person is not emotionally available or ready for a deep, intimate connection. If one person is emotionally unavailable, it can cause frustration, disappointment, and heartache for the other person. Emotional unavailability can take many forms, including avoiding emotional intimacy, refusing to communicate openly, or shutting down emotionally.

This can cause something known as the ‘twin flame runner’ where they feel overwhelmed by the intensity of the connection and may need time and space to process their feelings and emotions. This can cause the other person in the relationship to feel hurt, confused, and abandoned. In this dynamic, one person may not be ready to make any type of commitment,.

One way to identify if you are in a twin flame relationship, is that regardless how challenging the relationship gets, it will never be abusive or manipulative, there will always be mutual respect, understanding, and unconditional love. Communication in a twin flame relationship is typically open, honest, and compassionate.

Twin flame relationships are believed to be the coming together of two souls who are destined to be together, but this doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship will be easy or straightforward.

A twin flame relationships is a deep spiritual connection between two people who have a unique and powerful bond. The idea is that the two individuals are mirrors of each other, reflecting back their strengths and weaknesses, and helping each other grow and evolve.

The intense emotions and spiritual energy can create a heightened sense of intimacy, which may trigger feelings of vulnerability, fear, and anxiety. These strong emotions and passionate feelings can be overwhelming and difficult to manage, which may lead to conflict, as each person struggles to come to terms with their own vulnerabilities and shortcomings, however the challenges will always be handled with compassion and care.

These dynamics are intense and transformative, therefore, they require a high degree of emotional maturity, self-awareness and inner work, as they can bring up unresolved issues and past traumas.

Twin flame relationships are not always easy or straightforward, and can involve periods of separation or distance. This can be difficult for some individuals to navigate, and can require a great deal of patience and trust in the process while there is ongoing personal growth and spiritual development.

Not all intense or transformative relationships are twin flames, and not all manipulative relationships are narcissistic. 

While there may be some similarities in the intensity of emotions experienced in both types of relationships, a twin flame relationship is based on a deep soul connection with a desire to build a strong foundation so the connection can evolve, whereas a narcissistic relationship is based on power and control. The relationship is not based on love or mutual growth but on the narcissist’s desire for admiration, attention, and control over their partner.

In summary, the significant difference between a twin flame relationship and narcissism is that twin flame relationships are built on love, mutual respect, healthy communication, and empathy, while narcissistic relationships are characterized by manipulation, abuse, and a total lack of empathy.

In a healthy twin flame relationship, both individuals will treat each other with kindness and understanding, even during difficult times.

Both types of relationships can be challenging, however, a twin flame relationship is a positive and transformative experience, while a narcissistic relationship is toxic and damaging.

It’s vital to recognize the difference between these two types of relationships, as narcissistic relationships can be incredibly harmful to one’s self-esteem and overall well-being.

It’s important to remember that everyone has their own personal journey, and sometimes people come into our lives to teach us important lessons. Although it may be difficult to view this experience as an opportunity for growth and self-reflection.

If you have experienced a challenging situation or relationship that has left you feeling depleted and lacking in self-esteem, it’s important to take steps to rebuild your confidence and sense of self-worth. One of the most important things you can do is surround yourself with positive and supportive people. Seek out friends and family members who lift you up and make you feel good about yourself, and avoid people who bring you down or make you feel bad about yourself.

Engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment is also important. This could mean pursuing a hobby or passion that you’ve always wanted to try, or simply taking time to do things that make you happy, like reading a book, taking a walk in nature, or practicing yoga or meditation. By focusing on the things that bring you joy and fulfillment, you can begin to rebuild your sense of self and reconnect with your inner strength and resilience.

It’s also important to remember that healing is a process, and it takes time. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to feel all the emotions that come up as you work through your experiences. With time, patience, and support, you can rebuild your self-esteem and confidence and create a life that is fulfilling and joyful.

It’s also important to acknowledge and process your emotions. Allow yourself to feel any sadness, anger, or confusion that may come up. It may be helpful to talk to a trusted friend or therapist, journal your thoughts and feelings, or practice self-care activities such as meditation or exercise.

Here are some tips for emotional healing following an abusive relationship:

1. Seek support: Healing from narcissistic abuse can be a long and difficult process, so it’s important to seek support from a therapist, counselor, or support group. These resources can provide a safe and supportive environment where you can process your experiences and learn new coping strategies.
2. Recognize that the abuse was not your fault: One of the most important steps in healing from narcissistic abuse is recognizing that the abuse was not your fault. Narcissists are experts at manipulating and gaslighting their victims, so it’s important to remind yourself that you did not deserve the abuse.
3. Practice self-care: Taking care of yourself is important in rebuilding self-esteem and confidence. This can include getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and engaging in regular exercise.
4. Set boundaries: Learning to set boundaries can be an important part of building self-esteem and confidence. It’s okay to say no to things that don’t feel right or make you uncomfortable.
5. Practice self-compassion: Be kind and gentle with yourself. Self-compassion means treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a good friend.
6. Set small goals: Setting and achieving small goals can be a great way to build confidence and a sense of accomplishment.
7. Learn more about narcissism and how it can impact individuals and relationships. This knowledge can help you recognize red flags in future relationships and avoid getting into similar situations.
8. Learn to trust yourself again: Narcissists often undermine their victims’ self-confidence and sense of self-worth. To heal from this, it’s important to learn to trust yourself again. This means listening to your intuition, setting boundaries that honor your needs, and making decisions that align with your values and goals.onal.

Remember that building self-esteem and confidence takes time and effort, but it is possible with patience and perseverane. Celebrate every step you take towards healing and reclaiming your power. Remember that your worth and value are not determined by the actions or opinions of others. You deserve to be treated with love and respect.

If you find that you’re struggling to move forward on your own, don’t be afraid to seek out support from a therapist or counselor who can help you work through your feelings and develop new coping strategies.

Writing Alex Myles

Image Unsplash