We all have our own life force energy (prana/chi).
When we are optimistic, healthy, and balanced our energy powerfully radiates, flows freely and naturally reenergizes.
When we are emotionally or physically unbalanced, unhealthy, pessimistic, and out of sync, instead of radiating energy we absorb energy from other sources—or possibly even intentionally take on other people’s energy to rebalance and revitalize our own.
When absorbing energy from others, we are similar to a vampire, but instead of sucking blood we suck and drain energy.
Energy vampires do not generally just suck the energy from one person, certain vampires are advanced enough to exude enough negativity that they can suck the energy out of a whole room.
If you’ve ever experienced the feeling of someone walking into a room and it suddenly feels as though you could cut the atmosphere with a knife, the person is likely a skilled energy vampire who has zapped all the energy in one go.
When we have had the energy sucked from us we immediately feel weary, lethargic, exhausted, irritated, overwhelmed, frustrated, and anxious, and we may not understand why we have suddenly been left feeling this way.
We can imagine it as though we have an electric cable dangling from our energy field (electromagnetic field/aura) at all times. At any time someone can come along and grip it and plug it into their energy field.
When connected, the current flows continuously back and forth between us. However with an energy vampire there is a valve on the cable preventing energy from flowing back to us. There is no mutual exchange, just waves of energy leaving us and pouring into the person on the receiving end.
We will quickly become depleted and they will instantly be recharged. The less aware we are of this and the longer we allow them to remain connected to our energy, the more ungrounded, debilitated, and exhausted we become.
Energy vampires are commonly fixated on egotistical gains and life has superficial meaning for them because their focus and attachments are predominantly external. Therefore, materialism, finances, power, and status all have an exceptionally high ranking.
The refueling of a vampire’s energy supply arrives when people validate, praise, offer flattery, are afraid, or relate to them as superior.
Energy is easily distributed from one person to the next when there is an imbalance. For example, if one has a highly paid job and the other is in poverty, between a teacher and student, a parent and child, between people with opposing levels of education or experience, or between people who consider and believe themselves to be extremely attractive and those who believe they are unattractive or unlovable. The imbalance also depends on the internally held beliefs of each person in the dynamic.
As energy vampires have minimal connection to their core selves, they are unable to link to it to nourish and refuel. They find it easier to turn to other people to top up their energy rather than do the work required to create a life with value and meaning that is directly interconnected to their inner self. A life which ultimately will not rely on anyone else’s energy to give them power, inspiration, motivation, or inner strength, as all of these things will be firmly established when their lifestyle directly reflects what matters on a deep internal level.
Basically, energy vampires must discover what the purpose for their life is, acknowledge and accept themselves as they are, and build a life that has deep meaning and nourishment before they are able to energize themselves adequately and independently.
This is not easy, as it requires determination, self-acceptance, authenticity, vulnerability, and an element of risk, as they will need to be prepared for failure and rationally deal with it if it occurs. This is why many people will do anything to avoid having to face whatever exists within and instead turn to absorbing energy from others who have done/are doing the hard work.
Although energy vampires suck energy from others, it does not mean they are “bad” people. Often, people become energy vampires due to low self-esteem, low self-belief, and low self-worth.
Energy vampires may be “victims” themselves who were once “bitten” energetically by a vampire and their energy was drained. Absorbing energy could be learned behavior that they picked up from their caregivers.
They may have had words or actions inflicted upon them that made them feel “not good enough.” It could be that they have suffered abuse or they went through—or are going through—a traumatic period that has resulted in a build up of negative emotions.
It is also possible that energy vampires might believe they are “better” and far superior than others and they have discovered that this imbalance makes it easy to overpower and energetically drain.
Vampires can become so used to taking other people’s energy that it becomes a habit, one that feels pleasurable and natural.
It can also feel natural to allow energy vampires to take our energy if it has been happening consistently throughout our lives.
Whenever we are insecure and do not believe we are worthy or we want to prove or exert our worth, we then unconsciously—or even consciously—seek validation from other people.
Vampires aren’t always emotionally/energetically low or pessimistic on the surface. Often they appear to be optimistic, positive, filled with energy, thriving, and upbeat about life. This is usually a superficial front and they are so upbeat because they excel in absorbing other people’s energy.
Vampires may be highly dramatic or seductive, constantly needing attention focused on them, or they can be shy, reserved, and needy—looking to others for a boost. They may also be passive-aggressive, moody, with regular temper tantrums and incessantly looking to blame, humiliate, shame and make others feel guilty instead of looking at their own behavior.
When people suck energy it always comes down to the same thing: at some level they are afraid. Whatever is happening or has happened in their life has left them feeling fear and the fear drains them of their energy reserve.
Vampires and their victims can become caught within a codependent relationship as the vampire offers an exchange in return for energy. The exchange could be anything from financial benefits to helping the victim feel “good” or “better” about themselves. When a vampire needs recharging they will try numerous tactics to elicit energy from someone else. Although it seems like a fair exchange, neither one is gaining something that will make them feel permanently harmonized or healthily nourished.
Both people involved can find that they crave and become highly dependent on the temporary quick fix. Instead of looking at themselves to resolve whatever is missing, they expect the other to fill the void.
Below are some ways people upset the equilibrium to manipulate and drain energy:
>> Boasting about material possessions or finances.
>> A situation where one person is trying to make the other feel envious or jealous.
>> Using sexual or predatory behavior to destabilize the other person.
>> Using hurtful words to make the other person feel inadequate.
>> Deliberately crying or dramatic emotional displays to gain a reaction.
>> Intentionally using intellect or knowledge with the aim of making other people feel incompetent or uneducated.
>> Using extreme discipline to show control.
>> Using flattery to overemphasize aspects of a person’s character or physical attributes to seduce or derail them.
>> Extremely revealing outfits that have only been worn to seek out attention.
>> Saying something that appears nice while body language, intention, energy, or facial expressions send the opposite signals (passive-aggressive).
>> Using silent treatment, violence, or being overly competitive and flaunting success.
>> Complaining and criticizing everything and everyone without doing anything to resolve or rectify situations.
>> Dramatically overreacting in public to gain attention.
>> Trying to prove they are right and the other person is wrong.
>> Dominating and exerting control.
>> Using threats to make the other person feel fearful.
>> Trying to gain sympathy by falsely appearing as a “victim.”
>> Displaying insecure or immature behaviors to gain validation or reassurance.
>> Trying to make others feel guilty.
Here are some traits that may help you identify an energy vampire: abusive, aggressive, angry, apologetic, charismatic, coercive, controlling, dependent, dominative, envious, jealous, possessive, resentful, seductive.
Rather than attempting to interact, provide, negotiate, or reason with energy vampires, we can take control of our own behavior and show warmth, compassion, and unconditional love and acceptance, both for ourselves and for those trying to take from us.
Everyone is more than capable of connecting to their own source of vital energy. While we are providing others with energy, we are ultimately preventing them from depending on themselves and becoming stronger.
All we are doing is providing them with a temporary meal rather than allowing them the opportunity to provide independently for themselves.
When vampires see that we are not going to drain ourselves to feed them, they then stand a chance of beginning the journey to seek within themselves. It can be difficult cutting the source of energy as we don’t want to see anyone struggling or feeling depleted.
However, ultimately it is beneficial as it encourages energy eaters to take responsibility for uncovering their own energy source, which will provide them with vitality in abundance.
Many vampires may just seek out someone else who can meet their needs. However, we are not able to control or prevent that.
When we try to take accountability for someone else’s energy we weaken them by allowing them to remain dependent on us. It is vital that we all manage and protect our own life force energy and that self-preservation is prioritized.
As Prince Ea says, “We are all responsible for rowing our own boat.”
Writing: Alex Myles
Image Flickr Lily Laurent