There will always be days like these. Always. Ones that make you feel like switching off the sun, crawling underneath your skin and forgetting about this whole catastrophic cantankerous world.
Today is too much. Yesterday was more than enough. Tomorrow you just don’t want to know.
You feel broken.
Your cells feel fractured in millions of places, each one dangerously free-falling out of control, slamming hard against the wretched cold, hard floor. Your body is pulled down with them and gravity’s force menacingly keeps you in place.
Everything feels to be against you. All of nature’s elements lean in to watch while you struggle to breathe as the excruciating emotions clog up in your chest.
Sometimes it feels easier to give up and to stay under the covers, rather than stepping over the weighted moments that torment us before they pass.
But, believe me, it isn’t easier and the longer you stay this way the harder it gets to blow the dense clouds that have gathered around you out of harms way.
Although you may have received a few cracks, you are definitely not broken. And I know the world can be dark at times, but there is far more light if you are willing to open your eyes and let it in.
You might have entangled with ones who twisted your love or foolishly mistook your vulnerability for weakness, but they aren’t dragging you down. You are doing it to yourself. Stop. You are more than that loss, that rejection, or the aggression and resentment that someone showed. You are more than your grief or your insecurities or your fear of being abandoned again. You are more than every minuscule or outrageous experience that has ever happened to you; you are limitless and you haven’t even tapped in to your full potential yet.
So do not let whatever has happened so far define you, as every new encounter is a catalyst. Instead, let it catapult you ahead so that you may be carried with the waves and the wind.
You will always rise up wiser and stronger no matter how weakened you feel at the time.
Parts of your journey may be irreparable, but you are resilient and although you may sway and bend, you will never break.
Even when people do things that hurt every fiber of your being, and you bruise and ache due to the excruciating avalanches of ice-cold cruelty that freeze you to the bone, as soon as your passion for life rages inside, you will quickly thaw out.
Existing on this planet can be harsh at times but the burning bright flame inside you that originated from magnificent exploding stars will never die out. It just temporarily fades when protective layers of armor guard it.
Your fire is safe. It has been glowing for billions of years so it’s not going to quit on you now.
You have to keep moving however rough the road gets.
Shake up and awaken every cell…
Put up the fight of your life and search for any missing pieces. You won’t need to look far as you are not lost, just wandering a little off track.
Look into the eye of the storm and recognize the reflection at the center. That’s where you are. In the safest, most secure place. The spinning, vibrating hurricane is twirling on the outside, taking care of you.
Do not glance forward or back right now, remain calm, harmonious and at one as the bewildering force of the universe, that is chaotic at times, is now holding you tight. It will always come when you call, although, it will also unexpectedly arrive to test you, usually through encounters with people who are not aware how valuable and cherished and essential you are. But, you will always emerge essentially altered so you have to surrender to your self and never doubt your worth. Make sure you disregard that noise that frantically tries to destabilize you.
You may stumble and falter but you must keep going. You might even fall apart but each shattered piece knows where it belongs and will find its way back. The volcanoes erupting in your veins will slowly simmer back down.
You can break through and conquer this. It’s only your repeating, menacing thoughts and beliefs that are keeping you trapped in a cycle—by telling you that you can’t. Bend and twist them and turn them around or throw them right out. They are keeping you stuck where it feels familiar.
The incessant ramblings that are holding you down are challenging you to stand straight and question them, to regain the reigns and fix your crown. You are in control. Those triggered thoughts and old beliefs are not the truth, they are just an option and one you can choose to forget. It’s time to stop allowing them to drain your energy—you have the power to create and decide.
You’ve barricaded yourself in so that no one sees how damaged that delicate but fiercely pounding heart of yours is and you’ve hidden that contagious curve in your smile for far too long.
You’ve forgotten your unique multidimensional significance.
That’s okay. You needed some space and time. But those people out there now need your laughter. And they need your tears. They need you, however you show up.
There is someone specifically out there who needs you more than you know.
More importantly you need you.
You may not realize this right now, but I promise you, you are vital gift to the earth.
I’m just here to remind you to feel everything deeply. Feel it all, let it run over you. Scream if you want to and let it all out, but don’t ever be afraid of love. The stirring in your soul is necessary. Allow it to move through you and out so it touches everything that exists, regardless of proximity.
Find some thread, stitch up your wounds with colorful thread and create a beautiful tapestry all over your skin. Piece yourself together like a beloved and patchwork blanket and watch how the battle scars that adorned your mind miraculously heal.
“There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” ~ Leonard Cohen
You are not broken. You are breaking through.
Writing: Alex Myles
Main Image Unsplash Julia Caesar